How to Avoid the Naysayers: Dealing with Negative People

Imagine having an idea you feel will absolutely rock the world. But, sometimes sharing your idea with others can lead to devastation when telling the wrong person. Our hopes and dreams can come crashing down when we hear words of doubt from not just acquaintances but those close to us. These are called "The Naysayers."

This hub will share some tips on how to avoid succumbing to these negative people- and how to stay positive when confronted with just the opposite.

A naysayer is someone who will find something negative to say, no matter how great something may seem, people who seem to get their jollies putting other's down. And, their words can sting.

That sting is even worse when it comes from someone you love, who claims they are 'only' looking out for you. Sometimes negativity is disguised as concern.

Sometimes a naysayer could bring up something you did not think of. So, sometimes, it may be helpful to find out why they are saying, "nay"

Below are some strategies to deal with negative people:

1. Repeat the naysayers comment, and follow-up with a question:

If you tell someone your idea for a new eatery downtown and they say something like, "Are you crazy? Restaurants always fail within the first year!" You can say, "Restaurants always fail with in the first year? Tell me then, what advice do you have to make sure mine doesn't fail?" This makes their defenses fall, and will also bring out any experience they may have- or perhaps they will give you an idea of where to go for advice. If they cannot justify their 'nay' then perhaps it's just pure naysaying.

2. Let a naysayer know you want to hear their idea:

Naysayers are used to being dismissed. If you allow them to share their ideas, it makes them less defensive. This may also give you a new idea or another perspective. They may also prevent the confrontation they are hoping for from transpiring.

You could turn a naysayer into an ally by letting them know they are appreciated. It is rare for a negative person to be complimented, so you can throw them off by making a positive reply. They are not expecting your gracious words- a little bit of reverse psychology, huh? You don't have to take them up on their ideas; you will just simply compliment them. They may think twice about being negative to you again since it did not work out the first time!

Sometimes, even after letting a naysayer be heard, it may not be something positive. If it doesn't apply, let it fly! Meaning, forget it was said and move on.

5. Donna's corny response:

Call 'em a horse! They go "neigh," right?

Finally, if we keep letting naysayers win, it can actually change our lives. Think about this. Has a friend ever succeeded at something, but when you mentioned trying it, all of a sudden it "was really hard," or "not really all that cool." It may be because they do not want to see you doing something similar. For instance, your best friend gets his first car- it's a standard. You beg to drive it, and he tells you it's too hard to learn stick. You grow up driving automatics because that thought was drilled into your head. Or, the girl who wants to join ballet, but her mom tells her she is clumsy and uncoordinated. The girl grows up being afraid to even dance at a club. You can also call these naysayers "toxic people."

Given those examples, you can see how a naysayer can even groom who we are. Even if naysayers speak truth that your goal is hard, do not give up.

Accept naysaying as a challenge!

"It is a well-known fact that we see the faults in other's works more readily than we do in our own." -- Pablo Picasso

"To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing." -- Elbert Hubbard

"Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway ." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

"It is much easier to be critical that to be correct." --Benjamin Disreli

"Blame is safer than praise." --Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned." -- Dale Carnegie

"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain.. and most fools do." -- Dale Carnegie